Having a Mommy Moment

I've been an emotional mess this week thinking about my baby turning one. I know I keep saying it but where did the time go? With all of the ups and downs this year has brought I can truly say that this was the best year of my life because of Brooklynn. She has brought a different type of joy into my life that I never knew existed. Sunday morning I sat at the computer going through some old pics and looked at a video of her laughing. She was only about a few weeks old so it was one of those unintentional laughs. I ...I want to pause time.

I can remember like it was yesterday bringing her home from the hospital. The fear I had when it was time to leave the hospital and knowing I didn't have the nurses to help me. I had Dana but I knew he knew less than I did about taking care of a baby. I remember thinking how am I going to know what she needs, when she's hungry, why is she crying??? She was so little and fragile. I remember that first night not getting any sleep (a year later I still don't get much sleep ) because I kept jumping up just to make sure she was still breathing. Recording when I nursed, how long, how many wet and poopy diapers on that yellow piece of paper. We made it through the first year. I didn't drop her, I only bumped her head once, I fed her, changed her, nurtured her, sang and dance with her and loved on her something fierce. She's turned me into a person that loves the teeny tiny things in life. I don't look at things the way I used to. This morning I was driving in to work and the sky was a beautiful bluish pinkish color. I thought to myself that I wish Brooklynn was forward facing in her car seat so that she could see. I'd never really paid attention to sky before. Every morning before getting into the car we look for the same airplane flying over us. She points and I giggle and tell her that Mommy is going to take her on a plane ride soon. I love my little girl and I'm proud to be her Mommy. I joke with my sister and tell her my co-workers are probably afraid to ask me how she's doing because I ALWAYS have a story about her. I used to be one of "those people" that hated when people would tell me all about the little things their kids did. I didn't understand until now that they are just proud parents.

Ok, that's enough...like I said I'm an emotional mess this week. I'm not even PMSing.